I wonder when I will finally allow myself to say “enough”. Seriously. I can’t say that I am without sin. I will fully admit that I do act like an idiot and a bitch sometimes. But to lay hands on me? Again? I must be a complete lunatic to stay with someone who hurts me physically when he is angry. To be quite honest, I don’t feel safe with him anymore…and I haven’t in a long time. I’m never sure what will make him snap. I don’t know whether when I turn my back I’ll be hit because of something I say. I hate feeling this way. I always wanted a great relationship, a man who worships me and couldn’t even imagine hurting me. I got a knight in tinfoil. I got the man who thinks because I ask him to do things for me – I’m a bitch. I got the man who throws temper tantrums. I got the man who cancelled our wedding. I don’t know what to do.
I guess part of me just feels like if I leave him, I’ll never find anyone else.