Update

I haven’t posted in quite some time. There’s a reason – I’m exhausted. All the time. I hardly get free time to myself and when I do, I end up dozing on my couch in front of the television until bedtime. How exciting!

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote a single thing! Let’s have an update, shall we?

My husband and I bought our first house: in fact we closed on it eight years to the day that we started dating – November 17th. It’s a beautiful 5 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom row home. Our neighbors are all very nice and quiet, which is a plus. Our dogs and cat are having a blast, and we are very excited and happy.

Thanksgiving was spent at my new house 🤗, I cooked all the fixings and it was a good time.

My husband got baptized on November 26th (a day after my birthday). I surprised him by having my parents, his mom, sister, our niece and nephew, our best friends from North Carolina, and several other friends show up for his big day. It was a wonderful celebration of his love and acceptance of Jesus and we both couldn’t be more grateful or blessed.

December was a whirlwind of getting ready for Christmas – and I cannot believe Christmas is over! We went to Christmas Eve service at our church (Calvary Church in Lancaster) and I have to say – it was delightful. If you’ve never been to our church, it’s one of those that spreads the message in a modern way, using Christian music from the radio, video taping messages so people who cannot attend can watch them at home, etc. So, they did a recap of the 2017 year at Calvary – and my hubby was featured getting baptized! It was a surprise and honor. Our pastor was so happy and several members of staff came up to Ian afterward and told him how happy they are with him. It was wonderful.

So everything has been hectic, joyous, and very exhausting these past couple of months. We have accomplished so many things this year and we are proud of ourselves!

We are truly Blessed and pray that 2018 will bring us and our family and friends many more blessings!

Happy New Year!!

Click to experience our Christmas Eve Service

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Dreams

Do you ever feel as though the life you’re living isn’t the one you are meant for? I feel that often. Growing up, I had great dreams of the future and how my life would turn out – as we all do. I thought I’d be content and happy with the person I was with, it would be a fairytale romance. I thought I’d have a job that made me love what I do, one that I’d jump out of bed and be excited for on the daily. I thought by now I’d have gone on vacations and trips with friends that I’d known for years. I thought I’d be pregnant by now, or had a child. None of it has come to volition. 

I was told early on in my life that I would never be happy. Unfortunately, that so far has been the truth. Mostly I believe my unhappiness stems from unrecognized high hopes and discontent. I look at my husband a lot of the time and feel nothing. No happiness, no fun, no love. Our past has definitely shaped our present and his attitude has changed to the point of me not even wanting to be with him. I wonder a lot whether I should leave, whether my initial feelings for him were just fleeting and whether I rushed into marriage because I’m afraid of being alone. Then another part tells me that it’s not true – that I do love him and would be lost without him. That he’s my true other half. But there is only so much a person can take. I want to have fun, talk about anything and everything again, do things that don’t cost anything and enjoy ourselves. It seems like a far-fetched dream.

By now I figured I’d own my own home. A cute cottage home or a Victorian (my dream). Yet I am currently renting an apartment with my husband, sister-in-law, and her children. The house never stays clean and I’m the only one who ever cleans it anyway. I feel as though my hard work is often for naught because no one helps me maintain anything. I never wanted to rent – especially not for this long because I feel it’s a waste of money. There are rules and regulations: you can’t paint the walls, you can only have two pets, you can’t plant any sort of flowers, don’t make too much noise, etc. I can’t wait to save up enough for a real house. Although even that nowadays feels foolish. For a house, you should have kids, no? Sometimes I want to save all my money and just go on vacation all the time. That would be fantastic! Again, just a dream. 

I look on the bright side as much as possible though. I have food in my belly, money in my bank account, a roof over my head, and people who love me. That’s all I can do – look on the bright side and find the silver lining.